Banknotes Industries, To Readers: “Imagine”

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In a quest to make more money than no money, Banknotes Industries is asking readers to imagine a series of colorful advertisements along the top and sides of the page, and, further, to envision themselves clicking on the BMW and Bulova ads in particular.

Said Banknotes Industries chief financial officer Fonzie T. Ponzi, “We believe that by imagining a series of colorful advertisements, and, further, by envisioning themselves clicking on the Beamer and Bulova ads, both of which should feature Adriana Lima or some other supermodel in a state of partial undress, those readers will be more likely to visit BMW dealerships and Bulova outlets and tell the big kahunas that the Banknotes Industries website boasts a considerable amount of white space in which a colorful advertisement would look truly superb. We also believe that while those readers are away, we can sneak into their homes and steal their valuables and sell them on eBay.”

Added Ponzi: “Huh. I imagine I shouldn’t have said all that.”