Serious Sartorial Update: I need a new suit.
My last suit? Well, I left it at the cleaners. And then, perhaps more notably, I burned the cleaners to the ground. As it turns out, I don’t get the insurance money. The owners of the building get the money. That, apparently, is how it works. I probably should have studied up on it. Interestingly, the instructions for How To Collect Insurance Money By Way Of Arson were in the pocket of my suit.
Anyhoo, as you know, you win a free suit every time you click on a link like this one. Go ahead. Try it! And if clinically diagnosed paranoia has prevented you from clicking said link, I hereby proffer this unyieldingly tempting enticement as a way to both tempt and entice you, unyieldingly.
A) is the top infielder at Crazy Bob’s Galaxy Of Used Cars.
B) committed an error last week and had to pay for old lady Crawford’s windshield.
C) is surprised by the sparse attendance at the annual car show.
D) thinks he can probably get a ride home.
A) is not enjoying his first visit to the gynecologist.
B) is competing in the annual Really Violent Seizure Tournament.
C) thinks ballpark security should have denied entry to the sniper.
D) believes Roman officials ought to put an end to these contests.
All right? Here’s the plan: You get the suit; you give it to me. I’m scheduled to attend the Learn To Victimize Suckers By Stealing The Suit Right Off Their Backs Convention, and I really need to look good.