Wanna Read an InstaGraphs Piece That Wasn’t Quite Insta Enough?

So … in late-morning today I experienced an overwhelming sense of duty toward InstaGraphs. I know not why. Call it InstaCommitment. In haste, therefore, and in something approaching a Zen-like state of statistical exploration, I dashed off a quick little piece that had a bunch of numbers in it. You know, baseball numbers and whatnot — a lot of threes (3s) and zeroes (0s). However, owing to the cruelties of both time and space, I dashed it off in a fashion not quite dash-y enough, and by the time I delivered it to the appropriate authorities, things had changed. Casey had not struck out, no.

But Nomar had flied out, fatefully and poignantly, to left field.

Herewith, that unpublished (but now published!) piece:



“March on,” said poet Kahlil Gibran, who passed from this mortal coil on April 10, 1931, four days before Cubs left fielder Riggs Stephenson went a perfect 2-for-2 (with two walks) in the season opener against the Pittsburgh Pirates. “Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection.”

Now, if we presume a taste for double entendres on the part of Mr. Gibran, we may deduce from his opening line — i.e., “March on” — a clever bit of calendrical wordplay. The month of March is, indeed, on, and with it the opening performances that skew box scores to diametric extremes — on the one side, ERAs of 54.00 and 0.00 and, on the other, batting averages of .000 and 1.000.

As of this morning, just one day removed from spring training openers, no fewer than 17 big league batters have heeded Gibran’s message by moving toward and, however briefly, into perfection. At the top of the list are Diamondbacks shortstop Jean Segura, who went 3-for-3 in Arizona’s debut against the Rockies, and Rangers prospect Nomar Mazara, who put up an identical identifier of perfection in the team’s opener against the defending champion Royals.
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