Fantasy Week! How to Draft Your Fantasy, Team

Though the frost of whorish winter still paints your nose red, yet spring is nigh, and if you’re a dedicated follower of popular engagement, that means you are ready to remain in-a-doors, shivering in dread of offending your allergies, and cracking your knuckles with delicate demonstration in preparedness for the fantasy season to come.

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Banknotes Industries Mock Draft, 2015

A Shakespeare

Projected selections of Banknotes Industries in the 2015 Blogger Draft:

Round 1: William Shakespeare – Pro: good communicator. Con: dead.

Round 2: Jessica Alba – Pro: pretty hot. Con: not a blogger.

Round 3: Ellen DeGeneres – Pro: pretty funny. Con: demands eight-figure salary, many shoes.

Round 4: Mrs. Hoover – Pro: good English teacher, grammarian. Con: excess symbolism, Marner.

Round 5: Christopher Russo – Pro: high-profile baseball figure. Con: will be punched, kicked.

Round 6: Mitch Williams – Pro: high-profile baseball figure. Con: will be punching, kicking.

Round 7: Sasquatch – Pro: legendary cryptid. Con: will track in mud, leaves.