BREAKING: Danny Espinosa Facial Hair Update

Nationals infielder Danny Espinosa, who arrived at spring training in 2015 with a mustache now enshrined eternally in myth by Banknotes Industries poet laureate Bradley Woodrum, has one-upped himself. Forever on a quest to outbid himself for the title of Best Facial Hair in Baseball, Espinosa has elevated his game once again for 2016.


Also courtesy of wife Sara Espinosa, we have two more tiny glimpses of Danny’s Mountain Man attachment: Continue reading

Michael Dimock’s Industrialistache

To the cigar room with a snifter of chianti
And a flask of reserves!
To the coach with a cutlass and a mistress
For a debauched night of the town!
To factory floor, to the sun-baked farmland,
To the mill floor with a monocle and an ownerly frown!

Bring the bang-up-to-the-elephant lip-tickler,
Bring the gal-sneaker’s face and noble’s good intent,
Bring the stable of fops!
Summon my estate-full of ancestry
Like a shield around me deeds!
All in tow:
By God we’ve got them,
By Jove we have it,
Good Lord, who could impede us?

Why we’ll storm across this hovel like a thunderclap across the Serengeti,
We’ll rip through this sacktown like razor through canvas,
We’ll roll atop this city like lava on Pompeii cobblestones.

We’ll need but an armory of skyward-curling windsnatchers,
These dandy mouth curtains,
These trusty skin guarders,
These sturdy nose shades,
And we’ll be but nigh the Lord of Industry himself.