We continue this week’s trend of day-draining, word-raining posts with the following items:
- Florida Marlins second baseman Dee Gordon has received a suspension for violating MLB’s Do Not Get Caught Using PEDs policy, perhaps casting a cloud of suspicion over his batting-title-winning 2015. But can we blame him? After a 2014 in which he threw 387.2 Innings for his last place team, how else could he recover?
- A.J. “Iago’s Balls” Pierzynski gathered his 2,000th career hit and then fell over. He plays for the Atlanta Braves right now, which we note in case you weren’t sure who would save a roster spot for him.
- The factors of angle and rotation attending Jose Bautista’s latest bat-flip created a space-time vortex enabling the slugger to temporarily travel to the past where he discovered that back in those days, a lot of people were actually self-aggrandizing blowhards who never received their comeuppance.
The results are in! 11 of our 13 nominations received votes from the BNI readership. (Tragically un-voted-for: Jeff Weaver and Bartolo Colon.) But we can now crown a winner!
Third place: Fernando Rodney
Second place: John Lackey
And the inaugural winner of the Banknotes Industries Nickname Seeks Player Gritty Franchise Reboot is… Continue reading
Please to vote on Player Nickname “Miniboss”. Please to click here.
Seekest thou the arguments put forth by the nominators? Clicketh here. Notest thou that I have made a few judicious decisions about which nominations to advance to the final round, and which nominations to not. Some might say that more eliminations were in fact necessary. But I thank and respect everyone who made their clever, brilliant, and/or amusing nominations. Also, I know this paragraph started out in Shakespearean language and is no longer in that idiom. But I’m writing this whilst quite drunk on brandy-based cocktails, so dealeth with it.
Do you know how long it has been since the last installment of Nickname Seeks Player? Eighteen months, that’s how long. We grow old; we grow old. But now the hiatus is over.
Last month, the St. Louis Cardinals signed Korean closer Seung-hwan Oh, whose ferocity and ice-cold demeanor have earned him two different, amazing nicknames in Korean baseball: Stone Buddha and Final Boss.
But now that MLB has a Final Boss, the question is inevitable: which player is the enemy you fight at Level 1? Which player is defeated after only three bops on the head? Which player is…. Miniboss?