Today’s News from the Past

We continue this week’s trend of day-draining, word-raining posts with the following items:

  • Florida Marlins second baseman Dee Gordon has received a suspension for violating MLB’s Do Not Get Caught Using PEDs policy, perhaps casting a cloud of suspicion over his batting-title-winning 2015.  But can we blame him?  After a 2014 in which he threw 387.2 Innings for his last place team, how else could he recover?
  • A.J. “Iago’s Balls” Pierzynski gathered his 2,000th career hit and then fell over.  He plays for the Atlanta Braves right now, which we note in case you weren’t sure who would save a roster spot for him.
  • The factors of angle and rotation attending Jose Bautista’s latest bat-flip created a space-time vortex enabling the slugger to temporarily travel to the past where he discovered that back in those days, a lot of people were actually self-aggrandizing blowhards who never received their comeuppance.

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Vote on Player Nickname “Miniboss”

MD_Sonic_the_HedgehogPlease to vote on Player Nickname “Miniboss”. Please to click here.

Seekest thou the arguments put forth by the nominators? Clicketh here. Notest thou that I have made a few judicious decisions about which nominations to advance to the final round, and which nominations to not. Some might say that more eliminations were in fact necessary. But I thank and respect everyone who made their clever, brilliant, and/or amusing nominations. Also, I know this paragraph started out in Shakespearean language and is no longer in that idiom. But I’m writing this whilst quite drunk on brandy-based cocktails, so dealeth with it.

Nickname Seeks Player: Miniboss

MD_Sonic_the_HedgehogDo you know how long it has been since the last installment of Nickname Seeks Player? Eighteen months, that’s how long. We grow old; we grow old. But now the hiatus is over.

Last month, the St. Louis Cardinals signed Korean closer Seung-hwan Oh, whose ferocity and ice-cold demeanor have earned him two different, amazing nicknames in Korean baseball: Stone Buddha and Final Boss.

But now that MLB has a Final Boss, the question is inevitable: which player is the enemy you fight at Level 1? Which player is defeated after only three bops on the head? Which player is…. Miniboss?