Knowing Unknowingly

I did not knowingly hit the snooze button this morning.

I did not knowingly stay up too late watching a movie last night.

I will not knowingly eat tamales for lunch when I should knowingly eat a salad.

I am not knowingly brusque with strangers sometimes.

Once, when I was in high school, I did not knowingly copy the answers.

What the Spambots are Saying about Banknotes Industries

“you appear like you fully understand whatever you’re raving about!” – spambot

It's a picture of Spam

Lovely spam, wonderful spam!

The comments sections at Banknotes Industries are deluged by highly complimentary spambots. Let’s hear what they have to say about us!

“This is the kind of manual that needs to be given and not the accidental misinformation that’s at the other blogs.”

“Where exactly you lost me was first on the facts. As people say, details make or break the argument.”

“I have been surfing on-line more than three hours these days, yet I by no means found any attention-grabbing article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me.”

“racketeering allegations have tended to originate within the bug-infested South, where termites have a very major presence”

“So good to find anyone with some authentic thoughts on this subject.”

“I was chatting with the usher before a recent afternoon recital at the National Ballet and he made a great point” [end of comment]

“This is certainly actually legitimate point as greater into the blog page. Truly appreciate discussing available.”

“It’s actually mostly impossible to see well-informed viewers on this area, still you appear like you fully understand whatever you’re raving about! Regards”

Hot Gossip from Kauffman Stadium

Previously on Banknotes Industries, we admired the Yik Yak postings from AT&T Park during and after World Series Game 5. Yik Yak is the completely anonymous, bovine-themed social media app which allows you to post context-free comments called “yaks.”

Although hooked up to Google Fiber, Kansas City, MO is not too crazy about Yik Yak. Even more sadly, the Kansas City messages are less sexually solicitatious than California’s. Nevertheless, some baseball fans attending Games 6 and 7 wasted their precious time anonymously chatting on the app before, during, and after the games. Let’s see what they had to say!

  • Hunter pence makes meth look good
  • Royals game was on fire! We got a drunk girl kicked out too! #teamwork
  • If your not drinking for the Royals your doing it wrong!!!
  • “I can tell you’re a college student, your friends are all different colors”
  • Someone bring me a cigarette.  I’ll let you touch my butt. xD
  • One of my friends was a 23 year old virgin is that normal
  • If someone wants to snipe Bumgarner in the left arm, now would be a great time
  • Walmart: proof that bra sizes are suggestions only.
  • If I had the cure for Ebola, Gamestop would probably give me $4.50 for it.
  • Just partied with Hosmer, Finnegan, and Dyson. #DayMade [posted at 3:30 a.m. after Game 7]
  • Bus driver just bought us mad Krispy Kreme
  • I’m a giants fan and I can truly say that after coming to Kansas City the royals are in my top 5 teams. Classy fans and just a classy city
  • Officially taken a dump in all of the halls on campus. #UMKC

Hot Gossip from AT&T Park

“What are the kids doing these days?” we responsible adults often ask. “Aren’t they all up on the tweeternets designing their Pokemans to look like Gangnam style?”

No, my fellow old people: the kids are, in fact, doing Yik Yak.

Yik Yak

The load icon is a cartoon yak, so that’s nice.

Yik Yak is an app much like Twitter, with two differences:

  1. Everything is location-based.
  2. Everything is anonymous.
  3. Everyone is trying to have sex with everyone else. Not actually a difference.

In the interests of journalism and truth and justice, I here will repost several real, actual Yik Yak status posts created by people at AT&T Park, or in the blocks immediately adjacent to it, in the last 24 hours:

  • Forgot Kansas was playing giants and wore navy blue…. This has been the scariest day of my life
  • Getting home via uber before the Giants surge prices go up x 7
  • Drunk giants fans == annoying AF
  • Why do hipsters love using the subway? Because it’s underground! LOL
  • Any girl wanna get boned at the World Series?

    Yik Yak screenshot

    Click to enlargulate.

  • ZOMBIES ARE NOT GONNA TAKE OVER THE WORLD, ITS GONNA BE TOURIST OMFG
  • Buying water at the Giants game be like that’ll be $50 sir
  • Is it possible to become a squirter? If so I want to know how.
  • Love is like a fart. If you have to try really hard, it’s probably shit.
  • Most embarrassing yak ever, but do any ladies at AT&T have a tampon? >_<
  • Helped a Royals wife at work.. She was such a bitch
  • Woke up with my pants off and mayonnaise on my pillow. What happened last night?
  • Black performance moves towards the co-presence of mobility and immobility,control and freedom.Blackness is ambivalent direction,finding the fall in ascent,and the ascent in the fall.This is survival.
  • I have to fart