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Banknotes Industries, a subsidiary of The Harper Group of Concerns and Equity and Pounding, was founded in 1989, the year of Our Lord.

Banknotes Industries has been a pioneer in the realm of the Internet and online commerce. Since its inception, the progress and success of Banknotes Industries has been captained by its CEO Brian “Banknotes” Harper. An original angel investor in and the namesake for HotBot, Mr. Harper got his start in the mail room of the City Bank of New York at the age of nine, after he successfully brokered a structured buyout of his childhood.

At the age of 16, he was accepted into the London School of Business, but was dismissed after being caught in a loins-first handshake with the dean’s wife during the freshman mixer.

Mr. Harper returned stateside and began teaching his now-famous Business as a Martial Art classes at YMCAs up and down the eastern seaboard.

At the age of 19, as part of a bet during a game of Baccarat against Gene Autry, Mr. Harper was signed to a one-day contract with the California Angels. Though he had never played baseball before, Mr. Harper impressed during batting practice. He insisted on playing catcher as he said squatting was his more natural position. He struck out looking in his first at-bat as he perused important documents in the batters box.

Seeing baseball as a means of free transportation to America’s most prominent cities of industry, he decided to stay on with the Angels and ended up spending 16 years in the major leagues.

Playing baseball did not stop Mr. Harper’s business interests, however. Through the Harper Group of Concerns and Equity and Pounding, he oversaw the release of the Banknotes Harper Portable Conference Table, for Pounding, the most successful pounding table in the history of the market. He also founded Adventure Capital, a company providing services for people so rich that their money needs a vacation.

In 2014, the web site NotGraphs was purchased by the Toxic Assets Division of Banknotes Industries, combining Mr. Harper’s two greatest talents — baseball and performing business. Most of the NotGraphs contributors were also brought on in the acquisition. All the other interests of Banknotes Industries was sold off, as the company now focuses exclusively on the highly-lucrative world of baseball blogging.

Banknotes Industries’ corporate offices are located inside the belly of an old Space Shuttle parked on an island you are too poor to know about.