Weekend Wrap-up (on Wednesday)


by Casey Singer

These things all happened.

  • Chicago SP Chris Sale to miss a start after injuring his trade value.  Relying on rumor, we will confirm that the hurler’s fashion objection led to suspension, such a sartorial outburst not seen since the ’60s and the burning of the jock straps.  If the reports are anything close to the truth, then the White Sox have a terrible PR department, because we should not be hearing the truth in matters like this.
  • Aroldis Chapman traded, laments moving from .500 team to Championship contender.  Sure, ‘Arry, New York is a swell city, but Chicago ain’t exactly a cowtown, and with your kinda dough, you can winter anywhere.
  • The Reds realized they had an outstanding PTBNL from the Louisville Colonels.  They selected Hiram “Gloves” MacTallianaffey (1874-1928) to help shore up the outfield.
  • The United States traded three minor cities to acquire Gothenburg from Sweden.  Don’t worry; you’ve never heard of them.

Those are all the things that happened.


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