by Casey Singer
These things all happened.
- Chicago SP Chris Sale to miss a start after injuring his trade value. Relying on rumor, we will confirm that the hurler’s fashion objection led to suspension, such a sartorial outburst not seen since the ’60s and the burning of the jock straps. If the reports are anything close to the truth, then the White Sox have a terrible PR department, because we should not be hearing the truth in matters like this.
- Aroldis Chapman traded, laments moving from .500 team to Championship contender. Sure, ‘Arry, New York is a swell city, but Chicago ain’t exactly a cowtown, and with your kinda dough, you can winter anywhere.
- The Reds realized they had an outstanding PTBNL from the Louisville Colonels. They selected Hiram “Gloves” MacTallianaffey (1874-1928) to help shore up the outfield.
- The United States traded three minor cities to acquire Gothenburg from Sweden. Don’t worry; you’ve never heard of them.
Those are all the things that happened.